Crush

I knew he was looking at me. I do not know how but somehow I always do. There was some sense of strange feeling every time when he looks at me. And that’s the way I judged this time too that he is looking at me and this time I just looked back instantly. And we had an eye contact too though a quick one. Awkward situation but still innocent happiness I felt inside me. As if, he touched me with his eyesight, again. This was the reason that sometimes I also have waited for him to look at me, to make myself happy.

He is cute, charming, fare, slim and tall guy. I do not even know his name, not even sure if he does. It’s been a year we are studying at same coaching. But we have never interacted ever. We have shared glances and touch-me-not stares with each other. Sometimes accidentally eye contact happened; few of them were long ones to that few were for very short time span. I have noticed eye contacts have always made us shy. For instance; once I noticed him once on his bicycle, and the moment he noticed me noticing, his speed went little slow. And, once we sat in the same auto that to in front of each other, and for complete 17 minutes journey a new stare-journey was on!

Nevertheless, I enjoy his stare and he does not have enough guts to come and talk to me, I guess. In fact I think it’s also good, in a way, for both of us that we never interact with each other. Because, sometimes you only like a human being until you know that person properly. After getting to know the same person you used to admire once things changes.

But, irony is sometimes my glance for him is misunderstood by his nearby companion, who I think assumes them for him and looks back at me with such a desperate looks as if he will just come and have a chat. Oh, yes I am quite sure that he has got enough guts to come and talk. That’s why I ignore him big time atleast after the classes.

Well, today I grasped, he just felt to be caught red-handed maybe that’s why only he changed his sight right away because, I noticed a sense of un-comfy look on his face and in his activities. I gave a smirking look at the awkward situation and turned back. I thought that now he won’t look at me. But no I was wrong he again is staring at me, I could see that even facing 90 degree to him with my tilted view of eyesight. I do not know what his intentions are but it is making me feel good. And I am assuming that he admires me, which is making me feel more awkward and uncomfortable. I am checking on my every move with a constant thought that ‘whether he would like this gesture of mine or this or this or may be this’.

Every time he looks at me in between a lecture, as if he is sneaking into someone’s house, which gives me a feeling that he has not seen me for ages. At that very moment I feel that I am newly born, and my body fills in with fresh air and tickling coldness. And, it’s always too difficult to stop myself against my strong urge of looking back at him and make him realize that see I caught you again. And sometimes I fail, as it happened this time and I looked back.

But yet again, class is over and we are moving back in hurry, with no intention to talk to each other. In fact I think it’s also good, in a way, for both of us that we never interact with each other. Because, sometimes you only like a human being until you know that person properly. After getting to know the same person you used to admire once things changes.

So we moved with a hope of seeing each other again tomorrow morning to play the same glancing-game.